Early morning love/hate in the air!

O. my. goodness. How does the morning come SO EARLY!? How can I stay up until 1 am touting how much I LOVE my children and then loath them so entirely when they wake me up by 6 am!? It seems I have to prioritize! I love/NEED my own quiet, alone time, but I probably need sleep MORE! :) I have been trying to choose how to spend my time wisely as counseled in this talk by a personal favorite:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng

Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks (General Conference, October 2007)

"We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."

So WHAT is more important here?? That is my dilema! As a young mother of 2 I feel like if I don't have some alone time my head might EXPLODE! Then again if I don't get sleep, my already tired and sore body my just revolt against me, go on PROTEST! I kinda need my body to be on par... but I need my mind too! How do you find a happy medium when it seems there is never enough time for SLEEP-- OR QUIET ALONE TIME!!!???!!!??? Ugh.

This morning Cooper woke up to eat at 5:45 and so I got up out of bed, as that is what I am doing now, to breast feed him in the recliner and put him back to bed! Well, Jude heard the commotion and decided to join us... He had a nasty, wet poopy diaper so I can understand... but seriously... I was like, "What is going on in the world that drives these babies to be awake at the same time, at THIS HOUR!?!" I fed and laid down Cooper, and changed Jude's diaper, gave him a drink and put him back to bed... He of course laid there and cried because he didnt want to go back to sleep and he knows that on the nights when Daddy isn't there at night he doesn't HAVE to go back to sleep! As soon as Daddy gets home he is home free! Daddy has to sleep, and Mommy has NO choice, but to do exactly what he wants. Get. out. of. bed. Booooooooooo. Ugh. So. I stayed in bed, as a form of protest until I absolutely had to get out of bed. 7:30. My love came home and kissed me and snuggled me until I could breath evenly, despite my frustrations... and then I got up! We came downstairs to eat and I already could hardly look at Jude. He was too awake. Too needy. Too demanding. Too... TWO! We sat down for breakfast, of course this entails getting Cooper his food and a spoon, Jude and myself a bowl and spoon, Trix Cereal, Nesquik- Strawberry flavor, milk, and... wipes! :) I fumbled through all that while Jude hollared about wanting this and that, and finally sat down, ready to ROOOOAAAAARRRR at him just to show how frustrated I was and to shut him up. Then I decided to pray instead. :) Jude cried through the entire thing, but it went something like this: Please Lord, bless me with patience. Please give me patience. Please give me patience. Please bless Jude that he may have mercy on me and know that I love him. Bless Cooper that he may be content. Bless these babies that they may have MERCY on me this morning! Please Lord, bless me with patience. Bless me with patience... and so the prayer continued as I fed the boys. And somehow... despite my very strong urge to pour the box of Trix Cereal over Jude's head, despite my desire to let them both sit there and to go off and cry... I fed them. They ate. Now we are all sitting in the living room, Jude watching Sesame Street and Cooper bouncing happily in his Exersaucer, and here I sit. Blogging. SO... the moral of the story. Sleep comes first. THEN me time. I can find me time through out the day in the in between moments, courtesy of my loving Heavenly Father. :)

Now-- I have MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) in about 30 minutes. Free child care and mommy time. I should get going. :) Thank heavens for our military family and the programs provided to us! I am in NEED this morning!

Motherhood is HARD!!--- Can I get an AMEN!?!?! :)